Question: Hi! I’ve never tried anal sex. I just want to know if the anus is an erogenous zone for women? Thanks!

Answer: Hi love, Thank you for asking! Anal play (rimming, fingering, penetration) can be pleasurable for anyone! First thing to remember is that anal play does not have to include any penetration. Rimming, for example, is the act of using the mouth, lips, tongue on the rim (anal opening). This is also known as analingus. Some people also receive pleasure from simply rubbing with a finger or licking without any penetration. 

There are many nerve endings at the entrance of the anus (very much similar to the entrance of the vagina) which provide sources of pleasure. Stimulation to this area can excite the same nerve endings involved with vaginal orgasms. Some describe orgasms achieved from anal play as having been a “deep and powerful sensation”.

There are a few precautions to take when engaging in anal penetration:

1. Because the walls of the anal canal are thinner than that of the vagina, it is more susceptible to pain/injury.

2. Always use lube, as the anal canal is not self-lubricating. A silicone based lubricant is best for anal sex.

3. It is VERY important to be relaxed before penetrating this area. This can be done by gently massaging the anal opening/sphincter muscle. If you’d like, ask your partner to massage your butt cheeks, legs, and thighs as well.

4. If using toys, only use toys specifically designed to be used anally. The muscles around the anus will naturally clench, which will lead to a toy being sucked inside and making it very hard to reach and pull out.

5. COMMUNICATE. Talk to your partner about what feels good and what does not.
One way to start the conversation with partner(s) is by exploring a sexual checklist. You can select “Yes, No, Maybe, IDK, etc.” for certain sexual acts, which can be a fairly low risk way for you all to introduce your interest in other sexual behaviors, boundaries, and ideas with one another.

Also know that you can explore your body with, by, and for yourself. During solo sex, don’t be afraid to play with your ass! Grab and slap your butt cheeks, stick a finger or anal toy up your anus, play with your anus to learn how different sensations feel to your body.

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